porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
The beers last night were like the tears from god
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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