YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
