Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You should frame my arrest warrant.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
