you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize