I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
