I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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