Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
