I bet he comes in French.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize