if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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