What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
