I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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