No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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