youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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