can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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