so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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