i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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