i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize