I look better un-naked...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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