we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Apparently you make a good broom.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
