I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize