Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
