Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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