so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Randomize
