So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
