i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Im part way to drunk.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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