my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
