im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
