I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
