Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
