it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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