Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize