Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
We got so high we made milksteak
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
not ubering you a puppy
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
