bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
