She's like a pop up book from hell.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
