I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Send help, water and tortillas.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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