bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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