Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
