it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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