Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
