I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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