either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
