i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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