Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I just had sex on a roof
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize