Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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