How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
