4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Randomize
