I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
