There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
