What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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