I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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