Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
