do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize