We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
