I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
