It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
