The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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