on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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