Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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