i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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