My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
A bitchslap is in order.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
