do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
