I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
