I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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