I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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