i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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