Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize