idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize