HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
