...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize