lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
