so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
you told grandpa to call you daddy
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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