I hate your face
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
